Depression...

Did you know that anti-depressants are the most commonly prescribed pharmaceutical drug in America? Elizabeth Wurtzel described our nation as a Prozac nation, the united states of depression. Why then is it such a misunderstood thing? Sort of a stigma attached to being depressed, that its your own fault. Or that you are just a dramatic person who plays on their sadness for attention. If you live with depression, clinical depression, chronic depression, then you must know what i mean. "Oh everybody gets depressed every now and then, you'll be fine". "Every teenager goes through this." People like to pretend they can relate, but the truth is that most people never experience true crippling depression in their lifetimes. Most people don't have a genetic brain disorder that's practically unavoidable. Maybe if you're an ex junky you know what i mean too. How often have you been incapable of looking anybody, stranger or best friend, in the eye, let alone hold a conversation? How often have you been physically incapable of exiting your bed, let alone your house? How often have you woken up and prayed to whatever might be listening above for a quiet and peaceful death? Overdosed on benadryl just to escape reality for a few days, despite the repercussions? How often have you entered a catatonic state in which you are completely unresponsive to anything outside of you? Been incapable of feeling even the most basic of emotions? Even sadness? Lost a job because your boss thought you were on drugs? And then maybe, after weeks on end of it, feel just fine for a while. This is my reality. This is depression.

Being single...

I'm single. Have been pretty much my whole life. Its a mixed blessing. On the one hand, relationships, especially in high school, are nothing but obsession drama and ultimately, heartbreak. Most of my friends are girls. I can't tell you how many times I've been the shoulder to cry on when their hearts are broken. Teens tend to celebrate months as opposed to years because they both know it probably won't be long lived. Kids can barely handle themselves, let alone maintain a functional relationship. Guys say dumb stuff they don't mean like 'I love you more than anyone I've ever been with' and 'I'll marry you' and the girls buy it hook, line, and sinker. On the other side of the coin, there's a sense of companionship there. Your lover becomes your best friend to some extent. Someone to share the good times and the bad with. Someone to bring to the family Christmas party. Someone to share some of your most intimate and meaningful moments in life with. Not to mention, the benefits ;) Lets be real here, all teens are horny and overwhelmed with raging bull hormones. That's certainly not the biggest incentive to enter a relationship...well not for me anyway. Maybe the most meaningful relationships will come later on? Maybe my prince charming is waiting in college? For now, I'm content. Really not that horny, really not that co-dependent, and i know i should probably get my shit together first. Anyway, that's my take on high school relationships. Things are good the way they are for now :)